She Wasn't Alex Was She?
by ranma8962
Summary: Hi, first L&O: CI I've written. A oneshot. Hope it is not a retread. Thanks for reading.


I hold no copyrights for the Characters or properties of Law & Order: Criminal Intent or the situations described in the following. 

Spoilers for "Jones" and "Stray."

Just a little quickie. In the past I've written mainly La Femme Nikita Fan Fiction and I have also dabbled in The Pretender (in which I still need to finish a tale) but I've hit a main dry spell (1 year +) and thought I would put this down while I am still thinking of it. I am a latecomer to L&O: CI and still haven't seen every episode but I wondered how these two instances would strike Goren.

I hope you enjoy.

It struck him right after he said it, but he had filed it away to be examined later. After all, it didn't have anything to do with the case, not really. And, since Alex wasn't there to catch him from the endless parade of random thoughts that bombarded him, he had to pull himself together long enough to concentrate just on the case. Bishop, though certainly a good cop, was no Alex.

Now, the case was solved, finished from their end anyway. Having turned the two against each other all that was left was the paperwork and for Carter to do his dance. Now, he could look at that revelation with the attention it deserved.

He had to admit, he didn't like Bishop. Not that he disliked her. He just didn't LIKE her. She was too impatient, too grabby and too ... straight. She felt like his previous partners, before Alex. Like they were all waiting for him to either lay down the holy scriptures or waiting for him to have a complete psychotic breakdown or both. Alex never treated him like he was a freak, a messiah or a psychotic nutcase. As far as he can tell, she never treated him as anything but what he deserved in the beginning and since.

No, the revelation was a minor one in the grand scheme of things. Considering all the differences between Alex and Bishop, this was just a momentary glitch, but it was significant to him, because it explained so much to him. Just a quick thought, in and out, but such a momentous understanding.

Back when they were still learning about each other, still starting to trust each other, Alex had, following his profile, allowed a slime-bag, murdering, cokehead attorney hit on her while his wife had her final illusions destroyed on the other side of the mirror. Mr. Henry Talbot had flirted and dispensed his brand of charm on Alex who had encouraged him without really encouraging him. Just enough interest to keep him going. He had watched with Henry's wife from the viewing room. Watched that sleazy ... had watched and felt dirty. Not because of Henry or even Henry's wife, but because his profile had put Alex in there with that man. He didn't like it. It made him feel ... wrong.

Despite his size, or perhaps because of it, he didn't believe in using women. None of the women who have come and gone in his life ever had any illusions about him or a future with him. He kept everything strictly honest. Sometimes too honest, too direct for their comfort levels, but no woman could ever honestly say that he pretended something that wasn't there, that he had used them or led them astray. No, he didn't abuse women, use them or play them. But watching Alex and Henry, he felt ... guilt. She was listening to this, encouraging this, because of his suggestion, because he had pointed out what needed to happen to make Henry's wife crack and break on him.

He knew she hated it. He knew it from her posture, her little twitches that even then he knew were her tells. And, her words, her comment about the shower as she left the interview room. There was no mistaking that. She had hated it. And he had hated suggesting it, proposing it and watching it.

That was something he had learned to live with, eased incredibly by Alex's lack of blaming him. She accepted it as part of the job and had never cast a jaded eye on him for his part in it.

But, his casual offering of introducing Bishop to Tamara's ex-boyfriend, her paramedic connection. That, that had not even bothered him. Not once, not in retrospect or at the exact moment of offering. At that moment, he had hoped the guy was spooked by Bishop's conversation partner, but he hadn't known for sure. Yeah, it helped open the conversation, but would he have introduced her? Probably. Not that he actively wished Bishop any ill-will. Not really and she had the same right as any woman to his protection and courtesy, but ...

Well, she wasn't Alex was she?


End file.
